I’m calling an intervention on the word “passion.”
Everywhere you look or read, someone is trying to help you find your passion so that you can, at last, feel HAPPINESS and FULFILLMENT and JOY about work and love and life and…
… and oh my gosh… it has to stop.
Before I go any further, let me acknowledge that my profession is one of the biggest culprits of this passion conspiracy. I have said it many times myself as I am helping an eager college student determine the career path that is right for him/her. Perhaps I forget about my true feelings of the word because it is easy to get caught up in its fairytale.
I look into the hopeful 19-year-old’s eyes, full of anticipation (and fear) for this thing that adults refer to as the “real world” (as opposed to the fake one), and I want to tell him/her all about finding a job where you can’t wait to get up in the morning and you come home every day feeling accomplished and fulfilled. And before I know it, I’ve blurted out the “P” word. It’s like the episode of Friends where Chandler can’t keep himself from telling a date who he is no longer interested in that he will call her.
What I’m really trying to say to my students (and to myself) is to pay attention to when you feel ENERGIZED. When I choose where and how to spend my professional and personal time, I try to keep this in mind. When I switched careers from public relations to career counseling, it wasn’t because at some point I realized I had a passion for helping college students. It was that I realized I felt the most energy at work any time I got to work with our college interns, give them advice, or help them do their job better. Am I passionate about blogging? I wouldn’t use that word, but I know when I hit the “publish” button, I have a sense of excitement and fulfillment — so I continue to do it in my spare time.
Perhaps it’s just a matter of semantics. Some call it passion, some call it energy, some call it interest — and I guess it doesn’t really matter. But figuring out where you are energized just sounds so much more attainable to me than finding a passion. In fact, it’s actually very easy:
Do stuff. If you like something, do it more. Find different ways and different places to do it. If it’s Saturday morning and the thought of doing it pales in comparison to sleeping in and eating a Greek omelette (*lost in daydream of doing this*), do that instead. It doesn’t mean that “it” isn’t still something that energizes you.
That’s the problem with the “passion” talk — it evokes a vision of someone who loves executing his/her passion at any given moment and never tires of it. Even the activities I love to do most in the world, I don’t always want to do. Why can’t we just watch a Law and Order: SVU marathon instead sometimes and be okay with that?
Maybe you have a job or hobby that you consider your passion (however you define it), and that is great! But for me, I seek balance by doing something that energizes me while also understanding, I don’t have to want to do it all the time. So next time when you read a blog or article about “finding your passion”, try to substitute the word “energy” instead and let me know how it sounds.
Now that's passion!
So what do you think? Am I off the mark — do we need passion or is it a fairytale? What energizes you?
Is that really what passion fruit looks like on the inside? Nasty. Oh and nice blog by the way.
I know right! Thanks for reading!
This post is the most miraculous revelation ever! I love the idea of substituting the word “energy” for “passion”. It lessens the pressure by so many thousands of notches! Also, this totally reminds me of two things: 1) In grad school, we talked about how our generation is “the passion generation”, i.e. follow your passion, do what you love. It’s no wonder we feel so much pressure to find good jobs that also fulfill us! Look at the messages we get! When our parents were growing up, they just got to find a job, period. No funny business about pursuing a passion. Where did this come from and who started it?! 2) I don’t know if you’re still reading Marjorie Morningstar, but your post reminds me of the chapter where Noel talks about his theory about “hits” and how “little hits” and “big hits” keep us moving forward in life. You and Noel are right, if something feels good and you like the payoff, do more of it! Period.
Thanks Erin! You used the word that was eluding me: pressure. The word “passion” puts so much pressure on ourselves — we think we have to be overcome with emotion for it to mean we really enjoy something. There are plenty of people who have jobs and hobbies who wouldn’t consider them passions, but they are happy and successful and fulfilled nonetheless. I have been bad and haven’t finished Marjorie Morningstar (or gotten too far) but I love the “hits” theory — not everything is a big production! A good nudge for me to get back to reading it. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!
Holla soul sista! You blogs are AWESOME and reading them is a passion…wait I mean it energizes me and I am serial (rachel code talk). I wish I could say I wake up every day with a passion to jump in the shower, style my curls, put make-up on, pick out a work outfit and HIT THE OFFICE, but well I think I leave that true PASSION to my man (minus curls/make-up/outfit). I will say going to yoga energizes me, hanging out with my girlfriends (we need to do that more), playing with dogs and eating anything with cinnamon in it (random add on). Wait I thought of another….eating Ben and Jerrys ice cream (does that count)? Ok now I’m just rambling….GREAT BLOG! Keep it up!
Thanks so much! I especially thank you for giving me the image of JG stylin’ his curls in the morning before work!
And cinnamon is never random, it’s a super food. I’ve started putting it in my coffee every morning, love it. As well as ice cream. Yum. What were we talking about again??
Really great post! I have the same sentiment — that it’s words like passion and phrases like “follow your dreams” that ultimately lead to such disappointment, especially among the younger college generation. I feel bad for them in a way since they’ve been spoon-fed this rhetoric their entire lives. And I hate how it’s so ingrained in our culture that media, etc. try to put you down not being “passionate.” But none the less, it’s not about passion. Energy is a much better word. Energy. Excitement. Fulfillment. You really hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
Thanks for your thoughts Leah! I totally agree that our culture has a way of making you feel bad if you can’t identify something you are “passionate” about. Like that is the only road to happiness. It sure does put a lot of pressure on ourselves and, as you said, especially the current college generation.
Hi Caryn,
Now that we can’t use the “p” word anymore, I can’t tell you how p********* I am about your blog. Instead I will say I have an “ardent affection” for it and will express my “outbreak of anger” for not seeing a new post in days. Thank you Merriam-Webster for allowing me to express my “strong liking” while avoiding the word that shall not be named.
Yours truly,
Ola
Oh Ola, you are wonderful and how Dallas (and myself) so misses your “fervor.”
Caryn, that is an excellent article. I agree with you. This needs to be submitted to a career mag to re-energize more folks.
Thanks Faye! I appreciate you reading. And yes, we definitely see the “passion” talk all the time on a college campus!
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Holy hell this is a FANTASTIC post! I feel as though a crushing weight has been removed from my chest. I’m printing it out and taping it to my closet door where it will be a daily reminder.
It’s so refreshing to think that my current job could be just fine for me because parts of it does energize me even though health insurance is certainly not a “passion” of mine. And thinking about changing jobs for one that provides me more ENERGY feels attainable as opposed to switching jobs for a “passion,” which gives me impressions of hard work, no pay, and an impossible dream. It also removes the pressure from hobbies too because, like you said, some days (or month!) I feel like focusing on something else.
Thank you, thank you thank you!
Hi Katie! Thanks so much for visiting the blog and for your comments. I’m glad you found the post helpful. It was the same way for me, when I released the burden of having to be PASSIONATE about everything because we’re told that’s how you find fulfillment, it was so liberating. We can just do what we enjoy and be perfectly happy, it’s as simple as that! I’m glad you have a job and hobbies that energize you in your way. Thanks again for reading!!
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